PREFACE

 

​​We wrote this book because we love seeing other couples radiating with a deep love for each other. After forty-two years together, we understand the incredible amount of hard work that it takes to build and maintain a happy, healthy relationship.

 

We often joke that relationships are a full-contact sport and not for the weak-hearted. The battle scars we bear remind us of some of the seriously tough moments in our journey. Our book will remind you to celebrate and cherish the overwhelmingly beautiful moments that you have shared.

 

We are all on a unique journey.  We wish we had a little more direct, unconventional, and straightforward advice to make our journey easier. We wish we had understood that it was okay to have unanswered questions about your relationship, as long as you are both searching for answers and open to new ideas. We dedicate this book to your commitment and determination in Building Unbreakable Bonds.

 

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

• INTRODUCTION.. v

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• CHAPTER 1: LAYING THE FOUNDATION.. 1

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• DEFINING YOUR SHARED VISION.. 1

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• MAKING A COMMITMENT TO GROWTH.. 3

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• QUIZ. 5

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• CHAPTER 2: STRATEGIES FOR SUPPORTING EACH OTHER'S INDIVIDUAL GROWTH.. 6

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• ESTABLISHING A SACRED COUPLE'S SPACE. 6

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• IMPROVING LISTENING AND EMPATHY SKILLS. 8

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• MANAGING CONFLICT CONSTRUCTIVELY.. 9

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• QUIZ. 11

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• CHAPTER 3: HOW TO DEAL WITH JEALOUSY & INSECURITY.. 14

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• FACING JEALOUSY AND INSECURITY.. 14

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• THE FIELD TRIP. 16

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• CHAPTER 4: OVERCOMING HARDSHIP AND CHALLENGES. 20

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• EXTERNAL STRESSORS AND DEMANDS. 20

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• HEALTH CRISES. 21

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• FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES. 22

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• QUIZ. 23

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• CHAPTER 5: CONTINUOUSLY IMPROVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 27

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• MAKING TIME FOR FUN AND ADVENTURE. 27

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• KEEPING THE SPARK ALIVE. 28

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• CELEBRATING STRENGTHS AND DIFFERENCES. 29

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• COMMITTING TO REGULAR RELATIONSHIP CHECK-INS. 30

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• QUIZ. 32

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• CONCLUSION.. 36

 

 

 

INTRODUCTION​

"The Secrets to Building Unbreakable Bonds" is a straightforward, no-nonsense book that equips individuals and couples with the tools and insights to cultivate enduring, fulfilling relationships. The comprehensive lessons in this book cover essential aspects of relationship building, including creating a new vision for your relationship, strategies for dealing with jealousy and insecurities, and an exciting field trip exercise that will perform major reconstructive surgery on your ideas about love, sex, passion, and eroticism. Readers will embark on a transformative journey to develop deeper connections, foster intimacy, and build a resilient partnership that withstands the test of time. 

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WHO IS THIS BOOK FOR?

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This book is written for individuals and couples seeking to strengthen their relationship. It doesn't matter whether you're in the early stages of your relationship or have been together for years. This book is ideal for those committed to personal and relational growth who seek to navigate challenges, enhance communication, and deepen intimacy within the context of a long-lasting, meaningful connection.

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BOOK LEARNING OUTCOMES:​​

By the end of the book, you will be able to:​

• Define and articulate a shared vision for your relationship.

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• Foster deeper intimacy and trust by addressing jealousy and insecurity issues.

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• Overcome hardships and challenges, including external stressors, health crises, and financial difficulties.

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• Enhance physical intimacy by openly communicating desires, increasing attraction, and reigniting passion.

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• Sustain friendship and enjoyment through regular date nights, weekend getaways, and shared hobbies.

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• Demonstrate effective communication strategies, including active listening and conflict resolution.

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• Support each other's individual growth through shared financial goals, fun activities, and mutual respect.

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• Continuously improve and maintain your connection through regular check-ins, celebrating differences, and keeping the spark alive.

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CHAPTER 1: LAYING THE FOUNDATION

​​Chapter Lesson objectives

At the end of this chapter, you will be able to understand the following:

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• Defining Your Shared Vision 

• Making a Commitment to Growth

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DEFINING YOUR SHARED VISION

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In a complex tapestry of a lasting relationship, one thread stands out as particularly vital: the shared vision. It should serve as a transformative vehicle, enabling each partner to grow into the best version of themselves. Traditional advice for building shared dreams is to work toward a compromise with your partner. We have been taught to strive to create a relationship where each partner walks halfway to meet their loved one in the blissful middle. The problem is that when you meet someone halfway to your destination, neither one of you gets to where you wanted to go. You have now committed to living the rest of your life unfulfilled and longing for the completion of your life's vision. Think about it. If you are successful at obtaining this traditional relationship model, you will be half the person that you wanted to be. Given this reality, we should not be surprised that break-ups are so common and that the divorce rate is so high. Our advice to you is to replace the traditional relationship model with a “Personal Growth Zone” relationship model.